Friday, December 30, 2011


the year is ending soon~ we will be greeting the whole new year in another 2 days?? no..another day~ 2011 ending..2012 approaching.. after 3 months of tears, 3 months of anger, 3 monts of happiness, 3 months of smile,

despite the fact at times we wish the time could stop, despite something big happen in our life, our grandpa clock just keep on ticking..and well, after adding up those 3 we are, 12 months of our life.. =)

life is so unpredictable.. *laugh*

oh and oh, the title "tangled" is because...i watch TANGLED which is basically RAPUNZEL this afternoon~ =D
it definitely ends with a fairy tale way - happily ever after...

bt does life really end happy ever after in everyone life?? for how many percent??
i certainly have no idea...and no idea how to count...

just a little innocent question : Will i ever had the fairy tale ending in my life if i hold a stronger faith in it???? a stronger belief and trust...

i dont know...till the day my life is ending~ =) for now, let's just celebrate the countdown of the brand new year 2012...
should i do a evaluation on my life in 2011??? yeah i should bt i am not going to tell u guys~ hahaha... =) and my resolution, as i said before, the one and only one... live a simple happy life~ =D


Wednesday, December 28, 2011


when two become one~~

people who listen to the 90s will remember this song..from SPICE GIRLS though~ =)
but oh well, not talking about the 90s music although i wonder where they gone... neither am i talking about SPICE GIRLS, once my top favourite girl group... =)

have anyone ever count the number of junction one had already encounter in 2 decades of life?? plenty isnt it...even in choosing our dear meal such as having western food today or just simply a bowl of fruits.. =) in this full of chaos, full of excitement, full of curiosity, full of disappointment, full of happiness life, it is also full of choices and the unwanted junction... =)

i bet everyone when reach this ever loved-yet-hated junction of life, where they about to take a big bend and there is no U-turn along this road, they eventually lowered their head, look thru the grasses and see as far as they could, till where the bend obstruct their vision... step a little forward, look again, still ntg could be seen... take a little step to the right, look again thru the grass, satisfied?? no?? then walk a little to the left, look again, happy??? no?? then jump up a little, wishing we could see what is awaiting in front...still nothing could be seen... alright, then i shall see what is waiting for me in another route.. did the same thing, comeback with the same disappointment..

one road seems like it had been wear off... one just had few prints, so few that u can actually count the footprint with the little cold finger of yours... should i be the safe one and continue with the road that had been used like a thousand times, or should i brave myself and explore the route that is used less than 10?? will i be stronger walking through the tall grass?? or i be safe walking on top of the small weeds that had been step a few times.. standing there still, thinking which road to be taken...

and this reminds me of the poem i read in school.... the road not taken by robert frost :

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

in our life, it is always with choices, we look, we consider, we even weight both the decision.. the grass that obstruct part of your view, it represent the obstruction in the decision we took...we weight that it look likes it weigh the same...could it be the same asked our little heart...the bend we look into, represent the change in our life...could the bend bent at the same degree??? would we be still the same person we are after the bent?? our little brain wonder... down the road, down the muddy road, will my wagon ever had a chance to turn and back to the same junction i had been to??? will when i finally return to the same junction, i am still the same person judging the 2 roads?? will the route ever look the same?? without the footprint of mine???

had you ever wonder what would it be when we took the right, what makes us be if we were in the left?? i dont know about others, neither can i be bother about it... but at least i do...i did wonder if i ever take a turn to the right, what would happen to me if i were at the left??? would the accident that bound to happen on the right could be prevented if i turn my car to the left?? is the journey to the right is shorter compare to the journey on the left?? when i met my friends on the right, will that mean i lose the chance to meet them when i am on the left??? what is there waiting at the left?? at what price did i pay when i take up my determination... =) i just wondered..

but hey, i just wonder...never did i ever take a u-turn and back to the junction where i pick up the right and left the left forever is full of excitement, well again depend on how we look at it...the right has it own excitement... has it own world to be explored...has it own grass that stand tall~ i took my determination, my courage to pick the unwanted road...again, i wear off my courage to continue going down the bent.. i had no idea how much it has mould me into...can i say i am still the same person who made the choice?? am i stronger from all the tall grass?? am i better off with choices next time in my life???
till the time i reach another junction, then my mysterious answer would be answered...

you might ask, am i in the right pathway?? will the sun finally shine on the road..
i had no idea...could i ever judge the route if it is right or vice versa... could i jump up and point my finger on the road and scream, I AM SO WRONG ON PICKING YOU.. could i say IF ONLY I CHOOSE THE OTHER INSTEAD OF YOU!!
no..i cant.. all road has it good and is basically the same..
the difference is that, how we learn from it...from the tall grass, from the pebbles on the road, from the sand that caught your eye, from the hot ray of the sun, each and everything taught us how to handle our life..and eventually when we walk out from this road, sometimes down the timeline, we will be someone we taught ourselves, we will be able to proudly say I AM WHO I AM...

2012 is nearing...what is my new year resolution?? each and every year i make a hell long list of it...but for this year, i would only make one...that is to live a simple happy life~ =) wish me luck!! ^^

Friday, December 16, 2011


Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
cuz there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.

I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.


Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.


count on me

u can count on me like 1,2,3
i'll be there
and i know that i need it i can count on you like 4,3,2
and u'll be there..
that's what friends supposed to do oh yeah~

from Bruno Mars... =)

is it true that i can actually count on someone so out of thought, out of mind???
can i really throw temper, laugh loudly, present what i really feel to someone i call friend??
can i really trouble them and expect them not to be angry and no matter how many times they had to amend my mistake for me and yet quietly standing there for me again???

can i ???

i always thought that in this whole wide world, the only people i can be angry about, i can trouble about and i can really be who i am, expressed what i feel and confidently know that they are still here with me is none other than my own family member....they are the only people i know i can be who i am and nt being pretentious... because i know they are the people i can really count on~ and ps : this does not include someone i call boyfriend~ =D

dont ask me why this just pass my brain..
face it, this world didnt revolve just around us...the world wont stop because of certain thing and certain person...
time heals someone, as well as remodel other... how long can we actually be the same person we used to be???
and how long since people stop condemn on others and look at themselves???

in this whole wide world, who will stop and look?? look on something that pass by... look on what they had just missed??? what that had just walk into their life...

everything and anything could be said...but could those everything and anything be done???

i dont know...and i wouldnt want to know~~

Monday, November 7, 2011


recently the amount of my family members decrease by one again... 4 years ago, i for the first time, really feel the loss of a family members (is the time when my granddad pass away, i am still young to know what it means by going away forever..although i remember the scene vividly but the feeling at that time,it is just like another normal day) who is my granny, now going thru again, everything is just like deja wu..

one of them said at one night, our family members goes down one again..when they gone, they gone forever.. no way where their face can be shown in the pictures way we can hear their voices again~

that day i was in Sungai Petani when my mum called me...shaking, i answered the call.. "your aunty passed away already" ... shocked!! i know i supposed to get ready when i answered the call..i was hoping for another thing..just anything..or even wrong person..i am just shocked and surprised...just a fade answer "really? when??" i dont know what else should i happen the same damn thing again... the time when my granny passed away, i received it thru call also!!! they say granny wants a cup of mum volunteer to go and get it and i follow her... just a while, we received call that she passed away...

a while after when i finally sit down....i started to weep... she might be talking less to all of us....but then, the fact that ever since we stayed at the same apartment, she been a caring person, bringing food on friday knowing my mum doesnt cook on that day... the fact that i had been visiting her ever since she is sick, looking at her day by day deteriorating although i hate her children who is my is still sad that she left the world... she was 50 something when she left the world...

they are right... when one person is gone, they gone forever..what is left in this world is nothing but memories of them... memories of their deeds... memories of their acts~

cherish them and dont be shy to say I LOVE YOU before it's too late... because once u are late in it, regrets will be there forever...

just like me..havent had the time to tell granny that i love her, she left...the fact that when she tries to tell me something about her belonging, i asked her not to think too much and get better faster..she continue to sleep..that day i sit beside her in the hosp... all day long and i didnt even say it to her... the next day, she left..and that when she left, even if i said it a thousand times, she wouldnt able to listen to it...i am sorry...i am sorry that i presented myself in a way u thought i wouldnt care..but then i actually care... and i care a lot... not only me, but we... we care a lot~

granny and in peace.. may your soul found the eternity happiness... =)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

though forgotten

saw one of my own post... "phailed fans" .. a post i wrote for our baby dolphin, junsu's birthday last year...

i wrote it in a way who junsu is in the eye of tvxq my own interpretation when i watch them from rising sun era~ =) well, what a normal cassiopeia will feel about them~ wonder what will i write this year.. =)

it seems like it is already 2 years ever since that heartbreaking news announced and till now there is no sign of collide or whatsoever... dont ask me how is the lawsuit, i definitely had no idea~ how is kpop for now, i could only say enjoy the music...for the industry is too dark for a normal eye vision to analyze ... oh well, it could be me who had gradually stop stalking all this kpop~ =)

anyway, while reading about my post on dong bang shin ki, ultimately still my top favourite group, am i still keeping that faith??? am i still hoping them to comeback??? who am i now? still a cassiopeia???

i am still a cassiopeia~ just not an active one.. *giggle*

hoping them to should i say it..i am still keeping my faith that 5 of them are coming back, keeping my belief that they are still friends and that everything happen it's because of money~ well, money is root of all evil right?? =)

it's just that for now, if they are happy with the way they are, i will support them as who they are... tvxq or jyj... they are still my beloved oppa~ =)

but then...if they could comeback then it would be the best~ =)

i still miss them~ i still rewatch all the funny clips of's getting lesser in youtube~ good thing i had it in my external HD~ xD

cassiopeia~ i am still a cassiopeia with the red balloon... the promise i had made is still with me... i wish i could spam your twitter or anything but then i know a lot of fans will do the same thing..i will just wave the red balloon silently...=)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


whee!! it's SM TOWN LIVE IN NEW YORK~ =)

for most of people who dont get me....SM TOWN is a group of singers all under the BIG INFLUENTIAL company called the SM ENTERTAINMENT... =D

SM ENTERTAINMENT aka SM엔터테인먼트 , is definitely not the SADISM and MASOCHISM entertainment but STAR MUSEUM... there are people saying SM stands for SOO MAN which is the name of the founder LEE SOO MAN~ =)

SM ENTERTAINMENT for most of kpop-ers knew, is a house of most KPOP big names like H.O.T (disbanded - top idol band in the 90s - only KANGTA is left in SME), S.E.S (disbanded - top girl group in the 90s), SHINHWA (top idol band in the 90s - left sme), BoA, DONG BANG SHIN KI aka TVXQ (still here but then long story - their influence is still phenomenal!!!!! dont deny their power..=D ), THE GRACE (nowhere to be seen but is famous for a while back in 2005), SUPER JUNIOR , GIRLS GENERATION, SHINEE and F(X)

so yeah, they are called the SM TOWN... if im nt mistaken they are the 1st to group all their artist to release albums and also holding concert...and now the first to hold concert in all over the world... =D let's not be in the state of denial and agree mr LEE is a great leader..great businessman ~ =D

anyway, they recently (just like 2 days ago??), held their concert in NEW YORK... can u believe it?? it's full!!!!!!!! FULL!!!!! im proud of this family...
they are a group of talented, hardworking and good looking artist...=) but well, most of the time their talents are critics by others mainly because haters hate the fact they are good looking and they can sing and also ... mainly because they are from SME which is so big and great in management, some butthurt fans just couldnt take the fact their oppa, unnie or dongsaeng is not up to par~ =D

life are full of jealousy~ xD

anyway here is the video upload by SM TOWN youtube~ let's just enjoy the show~

i have no idea why there is no KANGTA and also CSJH since dana and sunday had a comeback~ =.= if there is, i shall comeback with it~

Friday, October 14, 2011


i am upset...i seriously do~~

to as why???


Thursday, October 13, 2011

insanity,of mercy or of harshness

i said i am coming back for a post on the current posting i am posted to which is psychiatric... =) i think most us knew what it means by psychiatric.. all this while, well at least me, had been having a distance or a gap towards people i label as insane~

wandering around, living in the world created by their own and to continue living in delusional state...lost of human primary function and lost of touch with the reality world..i had seen them and believe me, instead of i thought i would laugh at them for what they did, i actually found myself pity them...of course i am scared of them, there is a NO way i would stand alone in the ward or to let myself alone with those me anything u like but then, u would never knew what they could do next...and top of it, there is , well i admit, there is a invisible wall separating me and them~ i am sorry for making myself a gap with people i called patient, but then, well, i am just basically...SCARED~ =)

i was in the car with my mum and we pass by the hospital well known of keeping psychiatric mum was saying, the god loves them so much that HE free them from the worries of the world and live in eternal happy...

my question it the mercy from HIM or harshness from HIM as a result of karma??

i seen most of the patient....they indeed live in their own world, living in their-self-imaginary world... u can say they are living in eternal happiness, to forgot about the trouble human encounter all day long, the worrisome life and troublesome people and sadness of an events...

if i could choose to live in the world of insanity or in the world of sane, one with eternal happiness or the other with all taste of life u could ever imagine (to go way down low and to climb all the way up).....

i would choose to live in the world of sane...

life maybe full of ups and downs, and to certain people, it might have more down than up, so much of down that they probably forgot what it be like to be up...but doesnt this makes what we call LIFE?? the reason we had been going thru each day is to built this beautiful memories even with the down because without sadness, what are happiness right??? anyway, i told my mum, yes, it's nice that we dont have memory of the sadness and not going thru the torture of life, but then if one to be turn insane, they themselves forgot the happy moment of their life..basically their memories on themselves reduce to Z-E-R-O!!! i rather keep all the sadness in my memories and at one point of my life, i maybe passing by the place and recollects what had happen...

passing by the tree and said to probably my grandchild "ur granny fall down and hurt her butt before here"
passing by the school and said "aww, miss lim scolded me for not passing up my homework"

u know, it would be sad thing during that time but when collecting it after 10 years, it becomes something that u can really smile at and just by recalling, it makes u happy...believe me, try to recall something in your childhood to your friend and of course a bad experience to you at that time of event... =D

it would be sucks that time but gradually as time passes, it becomes something beautiful in your mind... =) mum may not notice it but everytime she recalls her hard teenage years, she actually say it with a smile...i know because i notice the graceful smile when she talks about it~ =)

the reason why people say TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS....

it's so true~ =D

beside this, the person to suffer with people like this, it would be none other than the family members... =(
some even dump their own family member in the ward, some were left it feels like when your family abandon you~ i dont know how it feels like and i never's way to scary even just by imagining it~ i wonder if they even knew their own feeling???

is it really that the god had mercy on them??? or it's just merely a punishment ???
what do you think??? would u rather to gain eternal bliss or to continue living with the devils?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


haha.. how long since i last update here.. hmmm, seems like it been 2 weeks??? or a month??? =D

anyway, i wanted to write something for the posting i had been in recently - psychiatric... but then as i was browsing around my blog, it seems like there is wayyyyyy too little or should i say negligible post on myself??? =) probably a good sign, probably not... hahahaha!!

having said that, well this post is dedicated...... TO MYSELF!! woohoot~ =) well im not going to post the "about me" corner... xD not going to grumble over something bad as well... i learn to appreciate what i had u know...after watching some certain people who i feel are unlucky compare to myself~ =)

oh....i tried to diet~ =D i wonder if it works out...because i feel that i am still FAT!!!!!! T_T i wonder how or when only my weight will drop another 5kg~~ oh god, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!! T.T okay, shut the damn crap...

i supposed to do more exercise rather than sitting down and looking at this pretty laptop~ =) sooner or later i will be like my own wallpaper... MR FOREVER BEAR!!

i danced tonight.. right after class, i started dancing till well 7pm?? okay, i am definitely exaggerating the time span..i only dance like...1 hour???? but the amount of hair drop on the floor and the sweat running down is a NO joke~ =D and well i am happy for the sweat but hating the part where i had to pick up my dear hair.. "please dont drop so much when i swing myself??" xD

as for dinner, lately i dont really had dinner... i had fruits as dinner!!! is it healthy?? my mum claimed it was unhealthy~ really??? o_O well to all, diet-ing is hard and torturing... why da hell do i plan to diet anyway~ sulk!!! T.T

i will write a post later on~ =) had to finish at least one set of notes~ xD
and i need to either buy/photostate BOOKS or....i couldnt study in peace~ T.T

Friday, September 9, 2011


recently i am so addicted to the new song released by U-KISS, a short name of Ubiquitous Korean International Super Star aka 유키스 ...

the group recently release their 2nd album (after changing 2 members), NEVERLAND .. great song, no doubt but there is one particular song that caught my attention..and surprisingly it is not their main song (just like when B2ST released FICTION & FACT, the song that grab the attention is ON RAINY DAYS)..

the song that caught me is SOMEDAY.. i just love the harmonization in the song and the's awesome!!! ^^ anyway here is the song for you guys to judge it~ =)

the lyrics :
Ttaeron hit ttaeron miss geureon geoji mwo
Naeireun an teullimyeon dwae gojak silsuil ppuninde

Ttaeron mit, ttaeron wi, ttaeron Number 1
Mwo ildeung hae bwatja naeryeogal gilbakke eobseul ppuninde

Eobseumyeon geunyang eomneundaero saneun geoji mwo
Gajigi jeonen mollatdeon yoksimdeuril ppuninde oh (o)

Jigeum neo himdeuldaneun geon got noryeokhaetdan jeunggeoil ppuniya
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it's alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya
When you fall down, when you get up
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya

Ibyeoriramyeon geunyang geunyeol noha jwo
Geojitdoen nunmul boyeodo inyeoni anigetji mwo

Tteonal sarameun tteonaganeun geoji mwo
Geurae geu yeope isseobwatja eonjengan geuraetgetji oh

Jigeum neo himdeuldaneun geon
Got saranghaetdan jeunggeoil ppuniya
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it's alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya
When you fall down, when you get up
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya

The past is the past is the past
Jinan gieogeun ije geuman It's the past
Oraen sigandongan maeil apeugiman haetdeon
The Past is the past is the past
Neoreul itge han naldeurin geor~

Everybody wins sometimes
Everybody knows you lose some

You get some right, you get some wrong
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari olkkeoya
When you fall down, when you get up
Jogeum himdeureodo utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari wa, gyeolguk utneun nari olkkeoya


Sometimes hit, sometimes miss, it’s always like that
Just do it right tomorrow, it’s just a small mistake

Sometimes bottom, sometimes top, sometimes number 1
Getting 1st place, you can only go down

Without it, just live without it
It’s just greed you have before you win it oh

Your suffering now is a sign of your hard work
Everybody knows you tried
Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come
If it’s separation, just let her go
She might show lying tears, maybe it wasn’t destiny
People who have to go, just go
Sure being next to them it might happen oh
Being tired right now
It’s just evidence of your love
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong

Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come
The past is the past is the past
Previous memories
It’s the past

The long painful days
The Past is the past is the past
The days to forget you~

Everybody wins sometimes
Everybody knows you lose some

You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring there will be days to smile,
Eventually a day to smile will come
Eventually a day to smile will come

credit: storyaboutagirl-chocolate

get your might ready and let's start sing along!! hahaha... =)
there is always a day to smile! ^^

did i did an introduction for U-KISS??? maybe you guys could check it here :
they are so way underrated!!! they are no doubt talented singer, hardworking with great personality and with great face~ it's just amazing how they could be so underrated... do support them and their new album - NEVERLAND~

this song is way better than the STEP or whatsoever the name is by KARA... =)
support them and get the album from :


Thursday, September 8, 2011

of keeping or of letting it go~

im back again in ermm...more than 12 hours less than 24 hours.. =)

another debate is on~ wee!! it's just a simple question to be started off... it's a debate of with no ending because at the end, it depends on what u think and i dont doubt any of your point...since i respect what decision you take like how i hope u will respect mine.. =)

its a debate open to all~ =)

the question is :


a baby which require a life time attention and care?? will you choose to continue on with the task given by god or will you give up ??

i am a medical student...i have learn about this congenital abnormality..i have seen some of kids with this kind of illness...i asked myself, what if one day i was gifted by the god on this child, will i have the bravery and courage to take up the mission like the mother i had seen?? will i have the enough patient and love for the child with such condition...let me stress on my point, im not looking down on those child but i know how hard it is to raise such child and the confidence for myself, it is just so low that i know i will never handle such stress...

if you were to ask if i will let it answer is : I WILL...

i read on some debate...the child is a gifts of god and it wasnt up to our rights to take away his chance of life...and well of course as his/her mother, i had no rights on taking away his/her rights to breath before he/she even had the chance to breath in...i could, i mean i could give up the life for the child... to care for the child, to love the child and to give everything and anything in this world to my baby~ i dont mind going tru anything and did just anything for him/her for they are the world to me~ a instinct of a mother..the love of a mother, one shouldnt doubt it .. (unless some weird jackass that doesnt deserved to be a parent...)

but then again, for how long will i care for the child, for how long can i care for the child?? for how long can i look after the child?? let's just if i had a life time of 80 years...and i had the baby at the age of 25, i could and i will care for him for 55 years..after that???? if *touchwood* i had to leave the world, who is there for him??? do i rely on others for a baby of my own??? will or should he follow me to the gate of hell???? who will be there caring for him??? and then again, can he care for himself?? i can have a lot a lot of money, but will he stand up for himself?? not that he will, can he??? can he stood up for himself, guard himself against all danger waiting outside?? once i close my eyes, can someone make sure that my baby is safe till the day god brings him with HIM?

can i rely on others to care for my baby?? it's just reality~ i know it hurts~ but again, it's reality... u can take care for him..u are the world to him..but if one day, you left, what will happen to the baby???will the world crash down on him??? im scared, so scared to imagine what will happen then...

apart from this, the suffer is not only on us...i dont mind having all the hurts including his...but this can never happen...
the parents are not the only one suffer...can he smile genuinely?? can he be happy for who he is???

let's face it...the society, no matter how much one group try to change, the view of society is so strong it could never change... those stereotypical thinking and look will never just disappear... the reality that sooner or later he has to face, the tease and laughter...can he really be happy?? even with the warmest hug from me, will he ever feel he belongs to the world?? being different from normal, those feeling is hard to for one to understand..can he be strong enough to face the world???

i dont know and i never had the courage to know..if my baby had the strong will, a strong personality to face the future awaiting for him...
i being a small human in this big world had no strength and courage to take up the big noble mission from the god...

i rather be called cruel murderer then birth to a baby who i know will have a rough life in front of him~ giving birth to a baby who i know wouldnt really happy for his life...and probably blaming me for what he had to face later on in his life~

i rather him to be happy somewhere else~~

so... how about you??

p/s : anyway, in MALAYSIA it is illegal to abort a child unless the child is dead in-utero (under natural causes) and also it posses threat to maternal life...apart from this 2 reason, it is illegal to abort a child~

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


will u cry if u watch a touching movie or read a touching article?? did you ever let your tears roll down for all to see all the time???

we were talking about a video..a touching video sin woi show me last night after yeeling and shu huey birthday celebration at raja uda.. YES! YES YES!!! we drove all our way from SUNGAI PETANI right to RAJA UDA for a dinner and chat and play and went back to SUNGAI PETANI at 12am~ =D crazy bunch of kids..wait, crazy bunch of medical student~ =)

anyway after the dinner, sin woi show me a video of marriage proposal...what is it all about i think u guys should watch it to judge it~ for me personally, i think it is soo heart does touched me to a point i actually cried...but well, like he say, each person had differ threshold so yeah,watch it to judge it:

okay back...on the way back to my hometown after the external meeting and a day fooled by AIMST, this story are brought up...and the fact that i cried because of this are also well, brought up~ i admit, i had low threshold.. but hey who wont cry over this video:

he said, it's because of you never fall before... and thus my topic start..=)

how will u define fall down?? and i dont literally mean falling down and hurt yourself..wat i meant here is hurting yourself in a way it affect you psychologically..something that hurt u in the way that it may affect u for life..not just a little scar found on your hand or leg or well, maybe butt...but yeah, that kind of fall...

the problem is that, he say i never fall much can u see if one person is having those bumps in ones life???? i probably had a big bump that changes me but does that mean i had to show to the world that i have grow an inch taller because of the bump that makes my head swollen an inch higher...

i said depends on what a person think about the situation..if his mind is saying YES I HAD FALL DOWN AND I FALL SO HARD I COULDNT EVEN STAND UP, then the man has fallen~ but if the mind were saying IT'S OKAY, IT'S ALRIGHT, IT WASNT SO BAD LIKE I THOUGHT AND THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT TIME, then well, he didnt fall so bad...what happen at the end of the day is how we see it...

if fighting with your BFF is so bad for someone, in which it happen to me, it doesnt give u a valid reason on building up a big wall separating yourself or being over sensitive in everything happen around you...and that includes JOKES...i been thru that and i think it is pretty worst type one could ever face...but then did that makes me someone ingoing?? did that make me someone depressed??? being nihilistic???

answer is NO..yes im being over happy, jolly and yes i did mumble on being bad being sad and being isolated...but what im saying is that, in the end of the day (i am quoting the external examiner..haha! i borrow ur quote!) wat makes the day, if it is bad, if is good or it being excellent or u just wanna die from what had happen, is how our brain think..happiness isnt all about the incident but what our mind think...what our mind conceive, what our mind think is what we see, what we heard, what we smell and wat we eat....i know it's completely opposite from wat we were taught (what we see, what we hear and what we say is what the mind conceived) ...

if we were taught from the very beginning that red is always blue and all colors are white, we are going to see red is actually blue...and colors are actually white ... if we were taught that dogs are called cats and vice versa, what we see as dog today will be called cat...

everything is in our almighty brain....what we think made our day... let it be sad or happy, it co-exists... we dont simply stop sad completely because it hurts.. because sad is what makes happy...what is happiness when u dont taste sadness...=)

so yeah, how do u know if i never had those little bumps throughout my life??? how you know i never had a bad day??? it just how my brain see the situation~ =)

and oh, congrats to all my housemates for passing thru year 3...see ya' in year 4...xD

p/s: if that video is too long to watch, this is the most critical moment : (and the moment that makes me cry..)

if this world ever had this guy for me..oh well, there will be !!! =) i believe~

Thursday, July 28, 2011


the world is beautiful isnt it..=) i am actually listening to Eminem Beautiful.. =) i love the meaning of the song..let me paste the phrase i like:

i guess we have to walk a mile
in each others shoes at least
what size you wear? i wear 10's
let's see if u can fit ur feet

in my shoes, just to see
what it's like to be me
i'll be you, let's trade shoes
just to see what it'd be like

to feel your pain, you feel mine
go inside each others minds
just to see what we'd find
look at shit through each others eyes

truly agree with the many of us actually put ourself in others shoe?? to know only pointing fingers to other..blame others whenever a shit happen in our life...when we are grumbling and whining about how freak our life is, i wonder will we thought about how bad the life of others might be?? im nt pointing it to anyone..i did it myself~ i am a grumpy~ i admit it..

it's just a thought~ what will it be to be the other think like them, to live like actually go deep into them and see what their eyes perceived.. i wonder what will others feel when they wore my shoe~

am i really spoilt like what they say?? am i really the easy go lucky person?? am i really happy like i show?? am i really a person u know?? vice versa..if i were to wore your shoe, i might find out what a person you are before commenting on anything...

human races are way too wide....different people pose different thinking, different concept and had raise up in different way..walking down the streets, i wonder will i able to find one who think like me, act like me and behave like me??? i doubt that~ =)

why am i writing about that?? =) just a second thought..hahah~
oh i think i know's because swee yen post a link about a true heartwarming (well, for me sound more like heart burning!!) story about a mummy bear kill her baby before committing suicide in the bear bile tears just roll down like nobody business...blurred vision, red face and teary eyes...i sound like i am having some anaphylatic reaction.. =D

i just put myself into the mummy bear much pain and despair she is to actually did that...even a bear could do many people can actually take up the courage to do it...the pain she been standing against..the courage and decision she took so that the child could be spared from the eternal pain of the cruelty in world of humanity...i just cant stand for a minute if i were her...

my hats off to the mummy bear...u are truly a heroine ..

ps : those fucked human should just be killed in the same fucking way they caused ur death~ what the fuck is bear bile?? chinese medicine is freaking weird!! i am a chinese and i ALWAYS hate when i heard those people eating weird stuff...bear pawn? shark fin? what the fuck?!!

enough for today i guess...having a bad day though~ oh SNAP!

Saturday, June 11, 2011

world within

do you guys believe that in every person mind, there is always a hidden world, a world that hardly had the chance to surface, the reality, the truth that everyone wish to keep it hidden forever...bringing it to the grave

far from civilization....far from humanity~ some choose to forget about it..some didnt even know the hidden world of themselves..what i meant by the latter??

i believe i am the latter one...never knew or probably i do, just that i never realized that i had it~~ i do..i seriously do think about it... what kind of person i am?? am i someone worth to be called friends by some other... why on earth do i had such a thinking...funny me~ xD

yeah, i can even type the smiley emoticon.. crazy much~ =)

am i a friend to a friend..or i am just a bypasser?? the people who walk pass other life..a person who never leave any footprint in one life...probably i am just a bypasser to many people i claim to be friend....

maybe it is me...well, if one person are acting that way, it could be the problem of that person, bt then my high school friends?? all of them??? it should be mine...i type could just now, bt yeah, it should be the word SHOULD~ =) afterall, it's not 1 but 4..

at times me looking at how they could joke and hang out together, i admit, i do butthurt.. initially i really angry about it...what is that?? did you guys just went out without inviting me??? what is this all about?? and u guys wrote gathering...without me~~ and i though 5 of us really close in high school... i question myself day by day...and slowly, the unattended question slowly turn into a mystery~ the anger i had were slowly off~~ and slowly i put the blame on myself..

well, like i said, if 4 of them are having the same thought, i would be the problematic one...even if they thought i wasnt part of their world, i belongs to a world far from them...

i really wanna know what kind of person i am...i really wish someone sincerely told i a friend worth to be call a friend....i hate the fact that all my friends are just merely a friend...honestly, lately one of a friend i care had just...idk..went missing??? where are the 3 people i always talk to?? 4 of us who chat happily all the just vanish~~

my dad once say, in your life, u will go into different space, different step, and in this every step u met different kind of people and eventually the people u met in the previous space, it will remain in ur memory...even if they were out of your sight, they remain in your memories as people u had met before, people u share memories with...


is it real that a friendship couldnt go thru the different space, different step together?? even if it meant less face to face talk, less conversation,friend never meant to be let off~~that is at least what im thinking of~~

maybe to the last day of me in the earth, i shall ask the grim tell me, which tears in funeral day, is the true genuine tears...tears without color, not the black tears neither the red tears...if tears represent the true feeling of one,

what is the color of tears that is rolling down my face now...will i able to receive the true tears?? or i will never receive one~

Friday, June 10, 2011

i just dont get it~

i just dont get it get it~ we just dont get it get it~ T.T

yeah, i dont get it~ i dont get lots of stuff...probably is just my brain wasnt functioning well recently..or mainly because im stupid..oh yea, did i ever mention i went to Langkawi on Monday?? okay, i dont..well well, it's kinda rush and tired bt nonetheless, it is fun~

hanging out with friends is always fun although at the end of the day, u still dont know how the hell we pass those time... =D although i went Langkawi before bt yeah, going up the 700m cable car is definitely the first time~ =D i cant even remember the route to the ferry...i was on plane all the time.. =D what to do, my mum n my sister had ship sickness~ =D

700m above sea level, i must be crazy to go up there...probably nt crazy for normal people bt for me, who had height phobia, i almost faint!!! okay, i didnt bt still...those palpitation spell..i dont want to feel it again~

apart from that, other stuff, i had well, seen it before~ =D ntg much though....there is quite a number of stuff my friend didnt actually then, it's still an experience...well, it just 2 days..what can we do for the 2days~ =D maybe next time~ =)

bt the next time, i wanna go BALI~ maybe! ^^ or KOREA...whatever~ i will write something bout langkawi..if i had the mood...for now~

yeah!! i just dont get it get it... KIM HYUNJOONG, leader of ss501, had make their solo debut with Break Down.. =) bt instead of break down, i shall post on Please aka JEBAL~ =D i like that song though~ =)


Hey Yeah
술에 취해서 I cried
너의 집 앞에서 너를 기다려
불이 꺼진 집으로 들어가는
그와 너를 보고 숨이 막혔어
눈을 맞추고 입을 맞추고
그를 안고 잠이 들
네가 너무 미워서
입술 깨물고 눈물 삼키고
정신 나간 사람처럼 서 있어

난 오직 너라고
영원히 너라고
터져버린 눈물에 주저앉아 불러
널 불러

I just don't get it, get it,
Why don't you get it, get it,
제발 너 그 사람 보며 웃지 마
제발 너 그 사람 입 맞추지 마
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

눈을 감으면 Baby
아직도 네가 곁에 있는 것 같아
네 숨결이 네 사랑이 내 안에서
도망가지 못하게 붙잡고 있을래
비가 내려서 모두 씻겨서 이별한
그 기억들을 사라지게 하고 싶어
어둠 속으로 더 먼 곳으로
내 아픈 눈물들을 데려가 줘

난 오직 너라고
영원히 너라고
터져버린 눈물에
주저앉아 불러
널 불러

I just don't get it, get it,
Why don't you get it, get it,
제발 너 그 사람 보며 웃지 마
제발 너 그 사람 입 맞추지 마
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

퍼지는 담배 연기 사이로
너를 흩어지게 해도
하얗게 네가 더욱 깊게 새겨져
너를 못 잊어

Oh Girl

다시 내게로 와
미칠 듯 소리쳐 너만을 사랑해
너를 보낸 잘못에
후회하며 빌어
난 빌어

I just don't get it, get it,
Why can't you get it, get it,
제발 너 그 사람 품에 안지 마
제발 너 그 사람 사랑하지 마
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

Oh Baby, I need you
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
and killed it girl
Why my heart cries
Oh Girl, (It's) like you killed me
You took my love
and killed it girl
Baby you killed it

제발 날 떠나가지 마

Hey Yeah
Sule chwihaeseo I cried
Neoui jib apeseo neoreul gidaryeo
Buli ggeojin jibeuro deuleokaneun
Geuwa neoreul bogo sumi makhyeosseo
Nuneul matchugo ipeul matchugo
Geureul ango jamideul
Nega neomu miweoseo
Ipsul ggaemulgo nunmul samkigo
Jangshin nagan saramcheoreom seo isseo

Nan ojik neorago
Yeongweonhi neorago
Teojyeobeorin nunmure jujeoanja bulreo
Neol bulreo

I just don't get it, get it,
Why don't you get it, get it,
Jebal neo geu saram bomyeo utjima
Jebal neo geu saram ip matchujima
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

nuneul kameumyeon Baby
ajikdo nega gyeote ittneun geot gata
ne sumkyeori ne sarangi nae aneseo
domangjaji mothage butjabgo isseulrae
biga naeryeoseo modu ssitgyeoseo ibyeolhan
geu giokdeureul sarajige hago shipeo
eodum sokeuro deo meon goseuro
nae apeun nunmuldeureul deryeoga jweo

Nan ojik neorago
Yeongweonhi neorago
Teojyeobeorin nunmure
jujeoanja bulreo
Neol bulreo

I just don't get it, get it,
Why don't you get it, get it,
Jebal neo geu saram bomyeo utjima
Jebal neo geu saram ip matchujima
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

peojineun dambae yeongin sairo
neoreul heuteojige haedo
hayahge nega deo-uk gipge saegyeojyeo
neoreul mot ijeo

Oh Girl

Dashi naegero wa
Michil deut sorichyeo neomaneul saranghae
Neoreul bonaen jalmote
Huhwihamyeo bireo
Nan bireo

I just don't get it, get it,
Why can't you get it, get it,
Jebal neo geu saram pume anjima
Jebal neo geu saram saranghajima
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

Oh Baby, I need you
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
and killed it girl
Why my heart cries
Oh Girl, (It's) like you killed me
You took my love
and killed it girl
Baby you killed it

Jebal nal ddeonakajima

Hey Yeah
I was intoxicated so I cried
I waited for you in front of your house
With the light off, I entered the house
I saw you and him and I choked on my breath
Eyes were fixed and you kissed
You embraced him and fell asleep

I really hate you
I bite my lips and swallow my tears
I stood there like a crazy person

To me, it’s still only you
Forever, it’s you
With bursting tears as I collapse, I call out,
I call out for you

I just don't get it, get it,
Why don't you get it, get it,
Please, if you look at him, don’t smile
Please don’t kiss him
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

When I close my eyes, Baby
I think I’m still at your side
Your breath, your love are inside me
I tightly hold you so you can’t escape
Because it rains, the separation is all washed away
I want those memories to disappear
Into the darkness, into a further place,
Take away my painful tears

To me, it’s still only you
Forever, it’s you
With bursting tears,
As I collapse, I call out,
I call out for you

I just don't get it, get it,
Why don't you get it, get it,
Please, if you look at him, don’t smile
Please don’t kiss him
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

Between the spreading tobacco smoke
You disperse
You become more deeply etched in white
I can’t forget you

Oh Girl

Come back to me
Shouting like crazy, I love only you
It was wrong to let go of you
Regretfully, I beg
I beg

I just don't get it, get it,
Why can't you get it, get it,
Please, don’t embrace in his arms
Please don’t love him
Cuz you're the cheater, a liar,
and a killer

Oh Baby, I need you
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
You took my love
and killed it girl
You took my love
and killed it girl

Don’t do it this way
You took my love
and killed it girl
Why my heart cries
Oh Girl, (It's) like you killed me
You took my love
and killed it girl
Baby you killed it

Please don’t leave me

credit :



Saturday, June 4, 2011


write then delete...then write and delete again...and it goes round and round~
a whole list of drafts...the unspoken feeling, the darkness of truth...shall remind silent forever in the folder that could never surface~~ =)

"right now im writing a story in happy thoughts, but it's all just a wish...still..."

credit : Junhyung in Fiction MV

Friday, June 3, 2011

the brand new world

welcoming the new me~ =D

wish me best of luck~ =)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Fiction & Fact~

yes!!! BEAST COMEBACK!!! =)P and they are coming back even bigger~ loving the title song..seriously, Fiction is good, nt that i am biased (since im a b2uty) but then, the song is full of feel and the dance is just amazing and the vocal is just superb..okay, did i just making it sound so superb amazingly perfect?? =)P

just judge it yourself :

isnt it great?? i mean, the chorus especially..nt to mention junhyung in the mv is so smexy~ (Although i still feel vin diessel is even more semxy)..okay, junhyung is hot~ =) i love how they display their feeling..doojoon is still the best though~ =) yoseob reminds me of junsu somehow..i dont know why... junhyung reminds me of yoochun because of that hair.. =)P

anyway, Fiction is indeed a good song...kpop lately seems to be lacking of such song..and well from the overflowing of kpop girls (which some i found useless), such song really could save kpop a little~ =)

oh here check this link for more of Beast Fiction and's from allkpop though~

anyway, i lovee freeze..junhyung did a great job~ =)P

cant wait for the comeback stage!! =) BEAST HWAITING!!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011


yeah yeah yeah!!! it's B-E-A-S-T in the house!! BEAST new release yesterday~

비가 오는 날엔 (On Rainy Days)!!!!
little fact on this song : * this song is recorded during REAL rainy days to add into the rainy effect~
*it somehow remind me of Lights Go On Again~ but dang, im loving this song!! =)

here is the song + lyrics :

sesangi eoduwojigo
joyonghi biga naerimyeon
yeojeonhi geudaero
oneuldo eogimeobsi nan
beoseonajil motane
neoui saenggak aneseo

kkeuchiraneun geol aljiman
miryeoniran geol aljiman
ije anil geol aljiman
geukkajit jajonsime neol japji motaetdeon naega
jogeum aswiul ppuninikka

biga oneun naren nareul chajawa
bameul saewo goerophida
biga geuchyeogamyeon neodo ttaraseo
seoseohi jogeumssik geuchyeogagetji

chwihaenna bwa geuman masyeoya doel geot gatae
biga tteoreojinikka nado tteoreojil geot gatae
mwo nega bogo sipdageona geureon geon anya
daman uriga gajin sigani jom nalkaroul ppun
nega cham johahaesseotdeon ireon narimyeon
ajik neomu saengsaenghan gieogeul kkeonaenoko
chueogiran deoche ilbureo bareul deullyeonwa
beoseonaryeogo balbeodungjocha chiji anha

neoreul da jiwonaetjiman
modu da biwonaetjiman
ttodasi biga naerimyeon
himdeulge sumgyeonwatdeon neoui modeun gieokdeuri
dasi dorawa neol chatna bwa

biga oneun naren nareul chajawa
bameul saewo goerophida
biga geuchyeogamyeon neodo ttaraseo
seoseohi jogeumssik geuchyeogagetji

ijen doragal gireun eobtjiman
jigeum haengbokhan neoreul bomyeo
nan geuraedo useobolge neol jabeul su isseotdeon
himi naegen eobseosseunikka

biga oneun naren nareul chajawa
bameul saewo goerophida
biga geuchyeogamyeon neodo ttaraseo
seoseohi jogeumssik geuchyeo gagetji

eochapi kkeutnabeorin geol ije wa eojjeogesseo
dwineutge huhoena haneun geoji deoltteoreojin nomcheoreom
bineun hangsang onikka gyesok banbokdoegetji
geuchigo namyeon geujeseoya nado geuchigetji

bineun hangsang onikka gyesok banbokdoegetji
geuchigo namyeon geujeseoya nado geuchigetji



[DJ] When the world turns dark
And the rain quietly falls
Everything is still

[KK] Even today, without a doubt
I can’t get out of it
I can’t get out from the thoughts of you

[YS] Now
I know that it’s the end
I know that it’s all just foolishness
Now I know that it’s not true
[HS] I am just disappointed in myself for
Not being able to get a hold of you because of that pride

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

[JH] I must be drunk, I think I need to stop drinking
Since the rain is falling, I think I might fall as well
Well this doesn’t mean that I miss you, no it doesn’t mean that
It just means that the time we had together was a bit sharp
When it’s the type of day that you really liked
I keep opening the raw memories of you
Making the excuse that it’s all memories, I take a step forward
I don’t even make the effort to escape

[DW] Now
I erased all of you
I emptied out all of you
But when the rain falls again
[KK] All the memories of you I hid with effort
It all comes back, it must be looking for you

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

(To you) [HS] Now there is no path for me to return
But looking at your happy face
[DW] I will still try to laugh since I was the one
Without the strength to stop you

[YS] On the rainy days you come and find me
Torturing me through the night
When the rain starts to stop, you follow
Slowly, little by little, you will stop as well

[JH] What can I do about something that already ended?
I’m just regretting after like the stupid fool I am
Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

[JH] Rain always falls so it will repeat again
When it stops, that’s when I will stop as well

Rom: romanization@wp
Trans: fckyeahb2st@tumblr
written by plopipay@ksplash

another great release will be my baby bias from ss501 - HEO YOUNG SAENG!!!!!! =)
his new song - LET IT GO ft 4minute Hyunah~ i just loveeeeeeeee his voice.. okay, i know, he is my bias and also ss501 main vocal...i know i know~ anyway still, i need to say I love HIM!!! XD

anyway here is the mv :

(Rap)내게 무심한 듯 차갑기만 한 니 맘 난 잘 모를 것만 같아 니가 난 어려워
(RAP) Not Concern About me your cold heart like not knowing u are cruel to me

아직까지 해보고 해도 이런 여자라서 좁고 좁은 소심한 나라서 매일 돌고 돌아 계속
Till now you have tried with his kinda girl the childish me dealing it everyday

이런 내가 그런 네게 자꾸 끌려가 불안할 뿐인데 아파질 뿐인데
A person like me always been mersmerised by person like you only get insecurities and getting hurt

제발 뭐라도 말을 해봐 내게 답답하게 거짓말이라도 해봐 넌 갑갑하게
Come on no matter what you say to me even when u lie also making me depressed


시간 따윈 없다 밀고 당기며 너를 얻기엔
No time to use efforts to get you

아쉬울 것도 없다 너 말고도 많으니
No regrets as in addition you there are more

기회는 단 한 번 더는 묻지 않아
Only one chance do not ask again

아니면 쿨하게 보내줄게
If not, please let go coolly

Just let it go let it go let it go

원래 이런 난데 모르지 않을 텐데
You only dont know I am originally like that

I just let it go let it go let it go.. oh no

망설일 필요 없어 그 까짓 거
No hesitation let's stop here

시작 조차 없다 니가 날 가지고 또 잰다면
It does not even begin to weigh you with me again

손해 볼 것도 없다 원래 혼자였으니
Nor is there any harm was originally alone

진심이 없다면 나도 줄 게 없어
If there is truly something I can not give

원래 넌 내께 아니었으니
Originally you are not even mine

Just let it go let it go let it go

원래 이런 난데 모르지 않을 텐데
You only dont know I am originally like that

I just let it go let it go let it go.. oh no

망설일 필요 없어 그 까짓 거
No hesitation let's stop here

모르겠니 모르겠니
I dont kow I dont know

강한 척 하는 말 뒤에 숨은 내 맘
I am a ruthless person behind my heart

아닌 척 가는 척
Pretending I am not

내민 손 놓치지 말란 말
Wanting to tell you not to let go of my hand

Just let it go let it go let it go

원래 이런 난데 모르지 않을 텐데
You only dont know I am originally like that

I just let it go let it go let it go.. oh no


(Rap) 너 땜에 지쳐가도 모른 척 못 본 척 그게 난 너무 아파와
(RAP) Because of you even tired also pretend not seeing not knowing making me sad

차라리 싫다면 속 시원하게 싫다고 솔직하게 가 달라고 그게 난 더 낫잖아
Rather straightforward to say you hate let me leave making me feel better

니 말이 어려워 니 맘을 모를 것 같애 모든 게 장난인지 착각해 버릴 것 같애
Hard to understand your works I cannot figure your heart illusions are all jokes wanna forget everything

조금만 마음을 열어 확실히 말해줘 뭐가 됐든 니 말에 따라줄게 난
Open your heart a little tell me exactly I will do as you say

Source: Naver
Chinese Trans: 玉米的抱枕 @水之莲生许永生中文网
English Trans:
Pls repost with credits

another 2 new release anyway... from 2NE1 and MISS A~ here is both song :

who will top the kpop scene from all this comeback?? =)
me?? my answer is secret~ =)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011



i miss choding yong and mother hyun~~ why should it end??!! i really miss that couple...i watch them grow for over 1 year and the stupid PD just keuk (end) it like that~ T.T

if only they make public they are dating...and got a drama together~~ i would be jumping up from my sleep smiling like an idiot~~

still...i wanna say...


Sunday, May 8, 2011

happy mother's day

yuppie yuuppie~ it's mother day today~ =)P

happy mother's day!!

to my dear omma/ahbu/mummy:

thank you for everything and everything that u had given in for me..i never knew how it is like to be a mum till i am myself, till then, im sorry for everything i did that hurt's you...

i might not be the ideal daughter u ever wanted, but even so i will try my best to at least near to your ideal daughter..i might not be the best daughter to be boast around, but i will try my best to be the daughter you could be proud not be the daughter you could rely on but i will try to be the daughter u need not worried of...

im sorry that at times i couldnt but hurt you in any sorry that i couldnt even bring myself to say the magic word SORRY.. im sorry that i had throw my temper and tantrum at any time i like.....Im SORRY!! the sentence i had to say for a thousand times..and for the rest of my life..

thank you for everything and everything u had done for me...thank you for everything u had give for us to face the world, and thank you for every little things that count for big thank you for the 10 months in which i live like a parasite in you..thank you for the past 22 years, u shower me with things, knowledge and form me as who i am~ THANK YOU the sentence i had to repeatedly say for a zillion times and repeat it for the rest of my life...

IM THANK YOU... and im sorry...i will say THANK YOU loud and lots of times while saying im sorry soft and less~~

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY~ for everything that u had given, i will repay it using the rest of my life because u are an awesome mother that no others in this world could take the crown from you~ the QUEEN of my heart~ i love you~~

I LOVE YOU and i really do~

Saturday, May 7, 2011


my recent addiction... 49 days.. =)
yes yes!! another drama into my addiction list~ it's a great drama without those complicating love story~ it's a story of sincerity, a story that teaches one about the dark side of humanity.. a drama worth all the time to watch it...

anyway staring lee yo won, nam gyuri, jo hyun jae, bae soo bin and MY BABY JUNG IL WOO~!!! =)P

it's a story about a girl who met with an accident a week before her marriage and fall into brain dead state..the girl (nam gyuri) were given a chance by the scheduler (jung il woo) to get back to herself in with only one get 3 sincere tears from 3 person who truly love her and she had to get it in within 49days without revealing herself...

being confident that she will get 3 from 3 of her closest friends who are her future husband (bae soo bin), her friends... little did she knows of what truth she is going to reveal...who is the one truly love her, who is the one faking their love~~

anyway, all the ost in this drama is just amazing!! =)P but this one particular ost i lovee so much~ this :

잊을만도 한데 (Can't Let You Go) - Seo Young Eun

mogi meeoseo maldo motago
hancham meonghani haneulman bogo nan uldaga
ijeuryeogo jebal itjago nan honjaseo
geumanhajago naege tto mareul hae

sogi sanghaeseo sogi da taseo
sarang ttawineun naegen eobseul geora mareul hae
geuman itja jebal geuman itja dajimeul haedo
neoui moseubi deo naui gaseume doraseo

byeoril eobtjanha nareul ijeodo
myeochil isseumyeon jom gwaenchanheul geoya..

hancham uldaga utdaga jamdeulgo
jeonhwagireul deulgo dasi naerigo nan
babocheoreom geujeo babocheoreom
wae myeochiljjae ireoneunde

bogo sipeo michil geot gata
geuman itgo sipeo michil geot gata na
himdeureoseo neomu himdeureoseo nunmuri apeul garyeo
neoui moseubi areungeoryeo ijen

beolsseo myeochiljjae jamdo motjago
neoui saenggageul jiwotda tto dasi hage dwae
gwaenchanketji jogeum deo jinamyeon ichyeojil geoya
machi eoreumcheoreom naui gaseumi nogaseo

byeoril eobtjanha nareul ijeodo
myeochil isseumyeon jom gwaenchanheul geoya..

hancham uldaga utdaga jamdeulgo
neoui ireumeul na honja bulleobogo
babocheoreom geujeo babocheoreom
wae myeochiljjae ireoneunde

bogo sipeo michil geot gata
geuman itgo sipeo michil geot gata na
himdeureoseo neomu himi deureoseo nunmuri apeul garyeo
neoui moseubi areungeoryeo

ijen ijeul ttaedo doen geot gateunde
geuman himdeureodo doel geot gateunde wae
babocheoreom geujeo babocheoreom itjido motago wae
doraoran maldo motani naneun…

credit :

Friday, April 22, 2011



hahaha~~ uri maknae group of SME, F(X) had their comeback in mubank today!!! wooohhooot!!! amber is back finally..XD as usual from fx..great dance song...XD and u can bet their live is even better~ =)

anyway, my housemate were listening to the song after it's release...weird huh~ XD here is the mv and their 1st live performance..:

today it's mubank 600 days anniversary~ so is extra great performance from tvxq..they perform keep your head down and also rising sun :

bt i hate how they crop homin pic out from HUG picture~ =.= i hate it...rising sun is the first song that brings me into the live of kpop in dec 05'... and the rest it is history~~ rewatch this...makes me heartache~ =(

my favourite song from G.O.D (the ony grp i acknowledge GREAT from jype)

n cn blue cover for jo sungmo~

and cn blue intuition~!!!

4minute did a cover for boa num 1..but im sorry to say, 4minute failed in it...sigh~ better try next time girls.. == how can 5 girls failed to sing a song from solo female singer~ anyway,differ in training i guess..and boa was around 16 when she first sang that song??? sigh~ sme is really a great training center for singers...some company should really learn from them..

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Wanna Be

nah, not saying about Wannabe by spicy girls or wanna be as in wanna be~ =) recently debut Block B, new hip hop group with their debut single Wanna Be.. and yes, raps can kill me instantly.. =) because i am so addicted to it already~ XD

anyway, the reason i write this post is...i'm going to say about R.E.D association!! =)

so yeah, our batch comes out with an idea where we will have really devoted in idea that needs a lot of efforts just to maintain it~ how we actually come out with the idea of creating a 'foundation' : R.E.D association??

im in my 3rd year, going into my 2nd term~ in the last 6 months, me and my batch mates had been practicing our practical in a local-training hospital. what we had been learning, from the process of getting know the patient, talk about the patient condition, to examine the patient and discuss the case, we had it all from the patients...seriously without patient, who is the doctor???

with this, we think we owe the patient a debt of return their favours, we feel that we had to do something in return to those patients...even with the sick they had, they attend to the endless question we throw at them....with a smile, they let us to learn everything on them from head to toe... and we attend to the hospital to know of a way to help the patients..and from them, we know that there is this needy and underprivileged patient..who are they actually??

well, they are those poor people and with some chronic illness and had apply for government welfare but unfortunately their application were rejected by government (for example: cancer patient).. they couldnt pay for the medical expenses and they couldnt receive any treatment for they couldnt pay for it and yet, they couldnt not get treated by doctor... with this, thean sim started with an association...and after a serial of discussion, we come out with the name R.E.D (Reach out, Embrace, Deliver) association. this 'foundation' were built up and so this people who got rejected by the government welfare, could at least get some financial aid from us..we filtered their information and paid them a certain amount depending on their condition..even though we couldnt help much but at least we help a little in a way..

so yeah, in conjunction of launching this R.E.D association, we kick off the very first charity concert (anyway, such 'foundation' in medical university is first to formed in our university...actually it worth to be mention in the newspaper..hehehe!!!) the charity night is to raise the first bucket of gold for the 'foundation'....

yes!! charity concert!! each ticket cost rm10..and there is 1500 guests!! with a list of performances..=) hand in hand, everyone combine their energy to help out in any way we could..even though exam is around the corner (pediatrics bedside examination and assessment) .... to practice their own performance, to rush up with the events planning and to study for the exam~ everyone work hard for the concert..

even if one bought the ticket and couldnt attend the concert, the ticket will be given to orphans/disabled people/old folks to attend the will be like a charity..a donation~ =)

anyway, for anyone who wish to donate, u guys can message me~ =) every donation counts for each live saved~ =) and to all who supported..THANK YOU!!!!!!!! XD i appreciate the help/supports given~ =)

Friday, April 8, 2011


ever use that word??? hahahaha.. everytime when one use that word, they always mean someone who look alike..=) but then, how many knew the real meaning of doppelganger??? i admit..i dont really knew the meaning when i start using it..i always thought it meant someone who looks/act/behave like us..then we found our doppelganger.. =)

here is the definition according to wikipedia:

sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection. Doppelgängers often are perceived as a sinister form of bilocation and generally regarded as harbingers of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person's friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one's own doppelgänger is an omen of death.

after reading it...are u happy that you found your doppelganger??? hahahahah!!!!!maybe i should tweet this to heechul~ =) he loves the word doppelganger~ =)

anyway i finish my 1st paper after 6 months!!! so long since i last had my exam...when i first study for this paper, i almost dumbstruck!!! i actually lost the interest on memorizing or reading the!! *singing dangerous by MJ* crazy crazy~ =.= but im happy that it end at last!! wow!!!! *Scream* ta yi da~ =)

should i post on kpop video?? =) i lazy to find here is the list~
1. Heart to Heart - 4minute
2. Mirror Mirror - 4minute
3. Intuition - Cn Blue
4. To Me - Rainbow
5. 0330 - U-KISS
6. Stupid Liar - BigBang
7. Love Song - BigBang

and yay!!! Cn Blue become the 3rd idol to past 100k marks~~ after TVXQ and BIGBANG~ =) CONGRATS!!!!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

knock knock

hahaha!!! recently dancing in the room..had to exercise getting fatter already~ =) since there is no new song..(wait, im waiting for 4minute heart to heart dance..) so i just dance to T-ara (Why Are You Being Like This , YaYaYa) and Hyunah (Change).. =)

i did wrote a post on tuesday night, when my anger level reach my cerebral cortex...but then..i decided not to post it so i just throw it into the recycle bin..well although im nt the one at fault but then, *sigh* forget bout it.... no further explanation... XD i dont want to ruin my happy mood anyway~ =)

while waiting for my mum to finish her drama and take me to night market, here i am, nagging on my blog.. owh thud!! i just lost my swagger-ness by saying nag~ =X

i actually doubt if i am swagger or just innocent puppy?? okay, i admit..NOT INNOCENT PUPPY!! i know i KNOW!!!! shud it~!! =) i know i am as annoying as the orange...i will be lettuce then~ XD bt one thing, i am NARCISSIST! =) full of vanity~~ =) but definitely not snobbish!! i am not snob~ =) and not noob! XD

recently, i used a lot of words like SHIT, WHAT THE HELL, SHUT UP and WHADDA!! and also my own native language, chiak sai which mean eat shit~ =) all pretty much thanks to my friends...or should i say my housemates.. =.= urghh... this turn me from being swagger to totally grumpy old aunty~ =.= urghh!!! i hate them... here is one (AND I MEAN ONE OUT OF HUNDREDS!!) of our conversation:
.. *teachers explaining about asymmetrical atonic reflex*...
miss A : don't get it..can u show us??
teacher : sure..*walk towards me*
teacher : assume this is the baby *touch my head*
my housemate , B : haha, hydrocephalus baby (baby with big head because of pathological condition)...
other friends : *laughing n giggles*
me : SHUT IT!!! =.= *control from getting angry while lecturer continue to teach with my head*
another classmate : hydrocephalus baby with apgar score 0...
me : WHAT THE HELL!!! =.=

so just one scene, i said 2 of the phrases.. =) im not's just, we are playing around and yeah, although got all those stupid comments, i know my friends didnt mean it.. so yeah.....=)

i just wanted to say, we never expect what will happen in your life... every seconds, every minutes are important marker in our laugh away every minutes, making it memorable~ =)

Friday, March 18, 2011


Kanashii kako mo wakasugita hibi no ayamachi sae
Kimi ni deaete fukai umi ni shizumerareta no ni

Ano koro no boku to ieba ai shikata sae mo shirazu...tada...
Bukiyou ni kimi wo kizu tsukete yasashisa wasurete ita

Tada aitakute...mou aenakute
Kuchibiru kamishimete naiteta
Ima aitakute...wasurerarenai mama
Sugoshita jikan dake ga mata hitori ni saseru

Saishuu densha boku no kata ni kao wo uzumeta mama
Neiki wo tateru nani yori mo shiawase datta yo

Ima naraba sakebu koto mo kimi wo mamorinuku koto mo dekiru
Mou modoranai jikan dake wo kuyande shimau no wa...naze?

Tada...itoshikute...namida mo karete
Kimi no inai sekai wo samayou
Wasuretakunai...kimi no kaori wo mada
Dakishime nemuru yoru ga ah kodoku ni saseru

Tada aitakute...mou aenakute
Kuchibiru kamishimete naiteta
Ima aitakute...wasurerarenai mama
Sugoshita jikan dake ga mata hitori ni saseru


My sad past and the days of youthful mistakes
Were submerged in a deep ocean when I met you

Back then I didn't know how to love...I just...
Hurt you carelessly and forgot to be gentle

I just miss you...but I can't see you anymore
I bit my lip and cried
I want to see you now...I can't forget you
The time we spent together makes me lonely

On the last train, you buried your head in my shoulder
Breathing deeply in your sleep and I was so happy...

Now I can shout, now I can protect you I regretting the time I can't get back?

I tears have dried up
I drift through a world without you
I don't want to forget you...the nights I sleep
With your scent in my arms, ah, make me lonely

I just miss you...but I can't see you anymore
I bit my lip and cried
I want to see you now...I can't forget you
The time we spent together makes me lonely

I just...miss you

Romaji and translation by Megchan

i dont know but i wanted to sent this song to yoochun...=)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

still air before eruption

ever heard that before an disaster, there is always a still night before??? could still air a sign before some bad eruption begin???

anyway, nt writing about japanese disaster...i wrote one about it..anyway, peeps, help them in anyway u can~ there is no reason why one should poke jokes on them..imagine yourselves in their shoe... there is absolutely no reason why we should laugh when one is crying.. unless u are those brainless idiots-thinking-you-are-so-clever-because-u-could-think-out-of-the-box-by-imagine-ultraman or thinking u are part of those DEVELOPING COUNTRY trying to teach those DEVELOPED country on how to prevent natural disaster by going green and feel proud by the fact u could thought of why earthquake happen in japan n not ur own country~ =) *total sarcasm..because i know sarcasm dont work online* oh well, my country leaders are really thinking out of the box..thinking stuff that can makes people go stunned, then blue then laugh~ and end up, we are gag country for the whole world.. we live up to what our motto, MALAYSIA BOLEH~ =)

anyway, i am actually going to write about human explosion.. and that human is none other than myself.. =) surprised that i actually wrote bout myself?? hahahah~ yup!!! i almost explode yesterday.. so damn angry that i might have cussed if i open my mouth that very minute~ =.= and recently, because of that, my sarcasm have return! T.T

okay back...

so there is this miss A who had been pulling a long face and acting like she is in some chronic depression for the past 1 month...okay, if she had been in bad mood and wants all her privacy, i dont blame nt mad at her... and i know i being one of the friend, i had to ask what happen..okay, i admit it was my fault for not asking her what happen, bt i had ABSOLUTE REASONS for why i didnt do it..

first of all, i am not a person who will walk over to a person looking all gloomy and acting as if the whole world is going to collapse any moment... i know it is a right thing to do, bt being a carefree person, i probably said something i always choose to keep myself quiet and let the person in her/his own private space...i am very sure one can recover from the depression or mood is self-resolving illness anyway~

2nd, it is nt just one day or 2... and dang,despite the statement above, i actually did ask her what happen... bt since what i got is "im okay.." "no problem" and yet the situation continues EVERYDAY for almost a week, i finally decided that i should just leave her alone instead.. because asking it will lead to same answer~

and 3rd reason, the MOST IMPORTANT REASON...the fact that she actually pull long face in front of us ONLY drives me mad... =.= giving us sulky face all day for the past 1 month and gives others a wide smile sparks my anger... for our neighbour (who is also our classmate..and one of them is her crush??), she has the warmest welcome, and sweetest smile ever... and yet to us, her own housemate, she gave us the dirtiest look and the sulkiest face ever...

and lastly, we did not did anything hurtful!! =.= first, none of us hurt her (except she is serious on the jokes make by the other 2..=.= or she believes that i actually badmouth her when i clearly state i dont)..second, we did not isolate her in fact, we always invite her for dinner bt she reject saying she is saving money (okay, i shouldnt mad at her, BUT!! when others ask her for dinner, she goes without

okay,enuf with the reason... so yeah, after this been going for almost 1 month, i keep still bout it.. keep my anger inside, giving a cool appearance... try to cool myself down....what i angry is the fact that, she acts like all of us did something bad on her and she is victim of bully... when we did absolutely nothing.. =(

i try to cool myself down, afterall, we are housemates... any argument will lead to awkwardness in the house... and since living together, i wish the awkwardness could reduce to 0.. everyone feels happy and free in the house...with this, i suppress my own anger...trying to kick of the anger by surfing youtube... suppressed it down..till last week,wait,supposed to be this week...yeah, this week...

after "abused" by her sulky face for the past 1 month, i finally give up controlling my own anger...still, i stop myself from volcano eruption.. and finally, one day, i just cant take it~ =...= i finally burst..nt really burst..i didnt even say a word..i didnt even cuss!!! =3= i just finally pull a long sulky face..nt long sulky face bt a face clearly written "I AM SO PISSED!!" and i think she realised it~

what i wanted to say is that...everyone had their own limit.. stop giving us you-all-owe-me-$$$$$ face each day....or acting like you-guys-just-isolate-me-and-i-am-sad-by-it..when clearly nobody did is irritating and annoying you know.. *sigh*

i actually suppressed myself real hard...if i had burst, it will be be more than the 8.8 earthquake faced by japan... if i were to burst it will be as big as the eruption from mount fuji... with all the flowing larvae.. i would have spit something like "just move out!! just move out, god-damn-it!!!" if she were to cross that line, and i erupt, it would be a nightmare...and i wonder what will be the atmosphere if that ever happen~ =.=

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

i'm so HOT~

hahaha!! nt..nt talking about wonder girls, SO HOT...neither am saying myself are hot.. =) *pssh, if u were talking bout having excessive fats to burn and therefore hot, then yes, i am~ =)*

anyway, today, no, yesterday midnight, oh well today, this morning, 2 mv had been release by both sment and wheesung.. =) oh yeah,so what does that had to do with hot??

it's because both mv contain hot guys and yes, the mv are superb! =)

the first, should i go with wheesung or tvxq (ops, i just broke the tense..=)) then i shall go for wheesung.. i am cassiopeia then dont get me wrong...i like wheesung too.. and my baby joker is in it~ =)

wheesung just release a new mini album with 가슴 시린 이야기 (Heart Aching Story) featuring Beast coolest rapper JUNHYUNG (bt i loveeee doojoon n yoseob rap!!!) .. oh back, so, yesterday night, junhyung tweet bout the song released at 12am, and yes, i wait till 12am before i actually climb to my bed~ no doubt, it is from wheesung...good song, great song lyrics.. truly a great singer + lyricist.. so here is the mv.. credit : myBEASTyboysX

did i mention rap from hottie junhyungie are cool?? with the white specs.. the only thing i dont understand is, why there are 4 girls behind him?? no significant..besides, every fangirl will actually only look at junhyungie~ =)

anyway wheesung oppa, u are really really cool~~!!! keep it up.. u never fail to amazed (although i kinda hate insomnia~ bt still...=))

lastly, mv by sment.. TVXQ!! released their new repackage album and comeback with BEFORE YOU GO... this mv is EPIC!! i wish it is a short story... it is nt long enough!!! and 3 hot guys + a pretty girl~!!!!!! who could resists it~ i mean...damn!! =) sment is rich anyway..high budget mv~ XD enjoy the song : 이것만은 알고가 ...the mv is really with heaven voice of yunho n changmin...this is great piece!! =)

i'm so HOT~~ huh huh~ hahaha! XD

Saturday, March 12, 2011


MBLAQ and BEAST.. the 2 new grp debut last year, said to be rival to each other, actually turn out to be a grp of good friends!! =) all 10 of them are good friends... oh well, they are actually close friends.. =) this remind me of bigbang n tvxq or tvxq n ss501.. they are all close friends... yet ppl always compare them and making them sound like rival..

top of being close..junhyung(beast) and seungho(mblaq) are actually schoolmate~ =) well, here check out their funny moment.. anyway i didnt post every video on mbleast.. it's too much~ =)

lastly...leader of beast n mblaq beatboxing...go doojoon, go seungho!! =)