Sunday, October 28, 2012

to forget

how many of us could actually forget someone easily?? especially that person had so many memories and so much things to remind us about his presence...

how could i forgive u who gave me so much to be remembered in a first place...
how could i give up when my heart wouldnt even want to give up..

i had logically told myself enough is enough..after everything, wouldnt dignity could have save me from hell??? how could i fell even deeper into those loop hole???

after what had happen, after all those tears, why would i still not wake up from what could happen... isnt it obvious that this again an one-sided love... why would i be so stupid to be in such situation...

....... now i would tell why.....

how could i forget someone who shares so much memories.. every corner of my life for the last 2 years had filled with a memory between us...

how could i forget him when he has appeared again and again in front of me.. who had faced me everyday...

how could i forget him when every time i tried not to be with him, he had comeback to gain attention.. either a lame joke, a funny expression or a weird question...

how could i forget him when even my facebook chat list had his name on, either online or offline.. his name is always there for god-know-what-reason.. he is not listed as my close friend, i didnt message him so much.. others would disappear when they offline.. some never been into that column.. how could his name forever be at there.. i never pin his name there.. even facebook bullied me~ :(

how could i forget him....

i hate how i had look at things that happen.. i hate myself for finding reason to forgive him each and every time.. how could i blame myself for everything that had happen... if a guy loves u so much, would he actually walk away and come like that... someone say it is hard to understand a women's heart... it is also hard to know men's sincerity... am i not being obvious that i had fall for him?? or that i am being inobvious that he is trying not to fall for me in order to protect himself...

or am i being obvious that i fall for him.. and he did that so that i dont fall for him anymore??

either of it...i guess the latter had more probability than the former... but one thing for sure, as long as he is still in my mind, how could i ever receive another guy in my life... till when, such a life would end??? it is killing me slowly from within... it is easy for people to say give up.. how could i, when my life is still full of him... it is easy to say stop, give up!! enough is enough.. bt how could u forget someone who had give so much in your life... now i understand why sometimes, even in hell, some wife still stay with their husband and children when they could afford to walk away~



Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Biased

i had so much to say but each and everytime i get to say it, or even to type it here

i become tongue-tight..


in this friendship, can i still hold on??
should i still hold on???

should i still find myself a reason to stay???
a reason for myself to call a friend a friend????

does this heartache mean i still care for this friendship????

i am confused...if being in as friend hurts me so much, why is it still called friend??
if within friends, grouping happen, isolation happen.. is this still call friends??

being outcast twice in a relationship, why cant i still learn to heal my own heartache???


......

conclusion : i am dumb!

Friday, October 12, 2012

夜夜夜夜



the lyrics...

you dont even try to explain everything to me... you dont even try to force yourself to lie a single word...

i should have wake up... i should have seen the difference..
i should have stop myself from the unrealistic dream... who am i making myself into...

sorry to myself.. wait, i dont even deserved that sorry from myself..


who am i now?? i wonder...
somewhere along someone conversation... that line, makes me wonder...
i am.... what had been said~ i am...

a dumb

Saturday, October 6, 2012

幼稚完




u say i always misinterpret what u feel...
misinterpret what you say...

misunderstood u...

----

i promise myself, after this month..
if there is nothing else from you... i promise to be good to myself..
i will be better... i am sure~ :D