recently the amount of my family members decrease by one again... 4 years ago, i for the first time, really feel the loss of a family members (is the time when my granddad pass away, i am still young to know what it means by going away forever..although i remember the scene vividly but the feeling at that time,it is just like another normal day) who is my granny, now going thru again, everything is just like deja wu..
one of them said at one night, our family members goes down one again..when they gone, they gone forever.. no way where their face can be shown in the pictures anymore..no way we can hear their voices again~
that day i was in Sungai Petani when my mum called me...shaking, i answered the call.. "your aunty passed away already" ... shocked!! i know i supposed to get ready when i answered the call..i was hoping for another thing..just anything..or even wrong person..i am just shocked and surprised...just a fade answer "really? when??" i dont know what else should i say...it happen the same damn thing again... the time when my granny passed away, i received it thru call also!!! they say granny wants a cup of coffee..my mum volunteer to go and get it and i follow her... just a while, we received call that she passed away...
a while after when i finally sit down....i started to weep... she might be talking less to all of us....but then, the fact that ever since we stayed at the same apartment, she been a caring person, bringing food on friday knowing my mum doesnt cook on that day... the fact that i had been visiting her ever since she is sick, looking at her day by day deteriorating although i hate her children who is my cousin...it is still sad that she left the world... she was 50 something when she left the world...
they are right... when one person is gone, they gone forever..what is left in this world is nothing but memories of them... memories of their deeds... memories of their acts~
cherish them and dont be shy to say I LOVE YOU before it's too late... because once u are late in it, regrets will be there forever...
just like me..havent had the time to tell granny that i love her, she left...the fact that when she tries to tell me something about her belonging, i asked her not to think too much and get better faster..she continue to sleep..that day i sit beside her in the hosp... all day long and i didnt even say it to her... the next day, she left..and that when she left, even if i said it a thousand times, she wouldnt able to listen to it...i am sorry...i am sorry that i presented myself in a way u thought i wouldnt care..but then i actually care... and i care a lot... not only me, but we... we care a lot~
granny and aunty...rest in peace.. may your soul found the eternity happiness... =)
I LOVE YOU
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