not the life i wanted

what is the life i wanted all the time???
it seems like the more i stay at home
the more i think what will be in the future
the more im doubting myself...doubting my capability...
my ability to become a doctor...
to be a doctor..all say about sacrifises time...time with family and loved ones....
well...patient comes first rite??
after this the other is...is my personality suit this job????
serious is the most important character a doctor must have...my friends always say im not serious...even my parents and relatives..."you don't look like a doctor."
thanks to that line...i now don't have the confidence to be one....i DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO DO GOOD IN MY EXAM!!!
i feel like getting more and more stupid...i got my chem book out to read...i help solving math quest for my cousin bro...i did do things to stop my books memory lost....did it really help?? i doubt...
i almost regretted not to enrol the local uni...=.=;;
i gain back myself...
i gain back my confidence...
stand firm to continue to be a doctor..
although it takes what it needs....

like what oppa always say
believe in ourself
never give up to last minutes..
lets both of us fighting!!
aza!!