나를 잊었나요??? 나를 기억 나요???

I keep hoping and hoping
In those days when I desperately want to see you
Those days that are so hard to bear
My mouth wordlessly repeats “I love you”
Alone once again I cry for you
In those days when all I think about is you
Those days when my heart is cold and sad
My mouth wordlessly repeats “I want to see you”
Alone once again I cry for you
Alone once again I’m missing you
Baby I love you
I’m waiting for you


`~
how are you? what are you doing? are you tired?
this is the few questions i wanted to tell you all this while...from the very first day i knew you.....i ask this question everyday..the moment i saw ur face..the smile that i never got enough...

least that i realised, i was spoilt by you...to know that i could see you the moment i switch this on...to know that, everything will be well-prepared and to get the updates of your whereabout, your activities simply by a click...never do i realised, this bring about what u had give in...just to ease my hunger of you

foolishly, i assume that u had your meal on time..foolishly i thought the moment i close my eyes, u close yours as well..to be happy by the fact that i share the moonlight with you, to stupidly assume, u had whole day to rest for that just 1 moment of appearance....to stupidly think...it is a MUST for an updates for you...

im sorry~~

never least do i realise i bring so much burden for you and yet you could smile...
never least do i realise how selfish i am for the past few years..to say that i love you more than anything..to say...im the person who understand you...yet..nothing i do that could ease you..not even to ease your tiredness of life...

im sorry~~

for the stupidity i had in me...to assume that you lead a great life..to have so much love from everyone..to assume that you guys are in healthy state for there is no news bout you being sent to hospital...to actually thought that u really willing to do anything....never least do i realised, how shit your life had been...to be in so stupid for the past few years..

im sorry~~

~~

it is never easy..for you and for me...
it is never easy to cry alone...i gave up on you, i admit that...

being selfish...i know...
being protective, some said...

i know...it is because i couldnt hold on to my own faith..thousand reasons i gave to myself..

after i left...

subconsciously, i watch the performance of others and said, TVXQ did better job than you

subconsciously that when i watch super junior goofing with shinee, i silently whisper IF TVXQ were here, it would be 10x funnier

subconsciously that when i saw red, i smile and the thought of cassiopeia appear in my mind

subconsciously that when my friend point to the sky to show me the stars, i told her bout cassiopeia, the proud fanclub of TVXQ

subconsciously that when i watch a group of 5, i couldnt bear and tears drop..to know the fact i miss you 5 together..

subconsciously, i still roaming in TVXQ OFFICIAL THREAD in soompi even though i hate you..

subconsciously i squeel about you..to spazz on you...to look at your old performance in youtube..to google your picture in google...to cry watching the fanvideo of you...to laugh when watch the old variety show...to smile like an idiot when listen to your voice..to continue play your song on my itunes..

still i gave a thousand reasons to not be ...never realised i did so much thing subconsciously...never did i know...

~~

a word from you.. "LET'S WAIT TOGETHER"..

those thousand reasons seems to fade immediately...because, i immediately..

come back to you..

after this stupid-waste-of-time-round..i come back to you..this time, with more strength...
this time, when i come back..with more force..with tighter grip...i come back to you...to shamefully,wishing that u wouldnt angry on me...

to shamefully..wishing u could accept me back...will you???

im sorry that i leave...to give a thousand reason...to leave and realised...

i did something stupid again...im sorry~

.

.

.

.

.

.

because i love you...

im waiting for you~~

even...there is a need to CRY for you.. alone...