Missing

ever had the feeling of missing someone yet couldnt expressed it out??
the person is so near to say "i miss you" and yet feel so far that no human voice could reach those ear... yup, the phrase so near yet so far..

ever had the moment where u tried to type something on the phone, just to erase it again because you couldnt find a good excuse to type the message??
or to hold on the phone and look at it, hoping for a message?

or maybe when you miss the person so much, u re-read the message conversation and laugh at yourself??

missing a person could be a tiring process yet a blissful waiting.. it's like you wait and wait.. and wait... and puff, a message received, and all those waits, those minutes, those hours dont seem to matter... at that very little second, it feels like you had own the world best moment.. =)

but unfortunately, missing a person could be too very torturing.. the endless wait, the wait that had no tract of stopping..

it could be missing someone who had went afar, afar which mean someone who had change so much that he/she wasnt someone who she/he used to be or someone who had went to an eternity place we called heaven..

looking back on each and everything related to that person, to be remind, to recall, to continue on missing a person... knowing no matter how long you had wait, it is still endless.. the person who has walked away, chances of returning seems to be so negligible..

maybe we will meet again at one point of life... wait me there, u thought..

~~

a very narrative way of starting... wow, back to blog after sometime.. i am actually procrastinating... i was supposed to read my notes for the upcoming exam.. wish me luck guys~ =)

i read somewhere before on a quote which i feel is quite true... "LISTEN TO THE SONG THE GIRL IS LISTENING AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE LYRICS, THOSE ARE THE WORDS SHE WANTED TO SAY"

true enough... at certain time of my mood, the choice of songs i choose differ... recently i listen to MISSING ME - RJ HELTON...

why i pick this song?? hahahaha... read the lyrics~ ^^

finish grumble and nag, here is the song
MISSING ME - RJ HELTON

cyclothymic

i was very happy in the ward today... not that i learnt something new but then i met back someone i wanted to meet...
and to my very surprise, he actually recognize me... =)

okay, he is none other than one of the medical officer i say handsome in the hospital im currently posted in.. =) although currently in medical posting, but then i follow an anesthesiology medical officer doing his peripheral round ... LOL~

and well, i overhead the nurse ogling at him and say he is cute/handsome/cool and etc ...
they must be very surprised to see i could be so informal when talking to him.. and hey, not my fault... he started the informality first..

a happy medical student at that very moment.. =)

but the happiness doesnt last long... i have no idea out of nowhere, while i was walking to the car with someone.. that very someone told me in a good way but still hurting, that i talk in a very arrogant way... and make me think, am i that impudent? am i that offending???

that kick me from heaven down to hell....

i should have care less bout every comment/critics.....
i should have... i should have...

maybe i had.... attitude problem...
to all who care, i am truly sorry for my attitude problem... and my lost of manners...
i failed my mum in being a better human~

explanation

have you ever caught in a place where everyone wants you to say what is in your mind only to rebut it later ?? and still, want to know what is your opinion ??
have you ever been in a place where nobody would want to listen to your explanation and when they finally saying what u plan to say and then blames it on you that you havent talk about it??

i had... had it so much that at time i passed it on with "sorry but i have no idea" "anything u want" "whatever" "i have no comment" "its okay"

taking all the bother to explain about something... why would i when nobody is listening.. is it fun to say so much and yet nobody going to care what is on???

why would i say it in the first place when nobody believe me??
why would i explain myself and make myself heard when everything i said is a nag to all ears??

i learn a lot in staying in... thank you for all the valuable lectures..
i learnt something in this 2 years... have you???

i learnt not to comment so much in something.. nobody interested, nobody wants to know... keep it to yourself
i learnt that people only had interest when it comes to their own interest... if not, they wouldnt care to listen about it... if it applies only to your interest, keep it to yourself... because once they had done or settle with theirs, they will never bother bout yours...

i care so i say...
i keep quiet... not because i being less noisy, it is because i choose to mute myself, as well as mute my care...

being housemate and only housemate is all we have now~
let's enjoy another year .... and close it nicely~