a bitter day

have u heard quotes about smile?? how a smile could change a person and a day of another person?
how strong a smile could give? how beautiful a smile could be??

did anyone mention to you that if u were to smile with full gratitude, to smile with the most sincerity u had, u had the best life? and that it brightens up people around you?? how powerful it could be and that it melts just any ice??

some examples of quotes by the big names ... on smile~

1. Peace begins with smile - Mother Teresa
2. "And then he gives a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me" - katniss everdeen , Hunger Game
3. Let us make one point that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. smile at each other, make time for each other in your family - Mother Teresa
4. if you cant find the right words for certain situations just give a smile. words have the potential to confuse but a smile convinces.
5. your smile looks adorable on you! you should wear it more often.

i smiled.. i smiled every day.. waking up in the morning, smiling my heart out, being a cheerful girl i always am...
but the smile portion just dont work.. it didnt work.. it never work...

how could it not work on me?? is it really not working?? am i really a failure in life??
i did something wrong in my daily life?? this never stops, and being continuous all day and every day... i am so sick about it..

why is it me who had to cope with everyone emotion and not just someone to cope with mine??
am i being the one coping for so long, that i had become a no-emotion sapiens??

i am tired... i really do...
i am tired to be someone's doll... i am tired to be everyone moderator..
i am tired to cope with everyone stress and emotion..

dont blame me for not being understanding.. i had my own level of stress... i had my own problems that are unspoken of...
why am i had to understand your stress and keep up with the tantrum ??

i had enough that i smile early in the morning and everyone had a poker face to show....
i had enough of smiling... it just doesnt work that way... it doesnt...