of reality.. of story

i may have wonder why one choose to kill themselves, for not loving the time they had, chooses to die while many were fighting for their dear life.. in my country, recently there been a lot of suicide cases.. well, most of it because of failure in relationship.. yes, i never understand why they choose for that route.. i termed that stupid.. for a person who doesnt even love them, they choose to leave those who loves them.. those who cherish them.. those who willing to be there for them...choose to hurt them over a person who doesnt even care less if you were there or not..

is life that worthless in their eyes?? when some people were fighting against the worst time of their life.. fighting for every second of their life to see, to listen and to speak in this world.. why some could just leap off and gone forever.. i dont know.. i been in the ward for almost 6 months already.. nt as patient bt as medical student.. i had seen lots of people fighting for time.. fighting for their own life.. and seriously, i had come across 2 patient who say "just let me die..i just wanted a peaceful day for now.. let me off from this suffering"

i really stunned..went speechless from what i heard.. my friend comfort him..saying he has his family there with him.. to be stronger and get healthy... i couldnt take it, i hid behind my friends and wipe my own tears..

recently i heard one again...from my own relatives.. she was diagnosed with cancer..advanced cancer.. looking at her, i felt so helpless.. my granny died because of cancer.. looking at her, i really wish i could help her.. feeling so helpless, i wonder myself..i cant help it bt to blame myself for being so helpless.. instead of worrying herself, she worried about her family.. she dedicated her life to her family.. and yet, reality hit her hard.. her family members, none was there for her to lean on... fighting over for her money, her wealth even before she close her eyes.. seldom step into the ward to accompany her..and fighting among themselves....the whole family is just a lump of shit.. i pity my own aunt for having going thru all this.. dedicating her life in her family, and yet, when she in pain, there is none bt crocodile tears for her..

she once told she would just went up to 12th floor and jump down..instead of being a burden to all... even i as her niece, went to the ward more than her so-called children.. is this what u do to repay your own mother??? at that very instand, i truly understand...at times, people dont choose the end path unless they become very disappointed in the society...disappointed with something in their life..

in her case..reality is far worst than being dead... looking on her own family, none could help to release her pain..her own illness that had eaten up much of herself.. reality hit her hard... if i was in her shoe, i wouldnt dare to imagine what will i do...i dont blame her for thinking dead is better than being alive... after all she had went thru...life is indeed harsh...is indeed worthless to continue fighting to live on... if only her family member would wake up... understand what their mother are going thru.. to stop being fake bout taking care of her...to stop eyeing on the wealth.. if i was them, i wish i dont have all those wealth, all i want is a healthy mum~

if i could change all the wealth to have a perfect healthy family member, i really will do it~ there is nothing better than having your family member there for you~ and i wish my cousins will understand that~ being older than me, how immature their thinking are.. i just dont understand their IQ and EQ.. and yes, i am saying u guys are STUPID!

reality sometimes..are just hurtful.. just too harsh.. and at times, people would just run away from reality~ life isnt about perfection.. life dont go like what we wanted.. life is just unfair.. accept the life how it be.. being good or being bad, isnt something we can change, bt we can change it by changing how we see life, how we try to make it better from the worst...

그 남자는 반대

DALMATION just recently had their comeback for 그 남자는 반대 (That Man Opposed) .. =) check out their new song~ oh, if u guys remeber i posted before a song - fist snow, first kiss?? is by Daniel (from this grp) and also YOSEOB (of beast).. anyway, check out their new song





and also, yoseobie sang an ost for MY PRINCESS (Where kikwang is in).. here is his song..


그 사람을 아껴요 (Cherish That Person)..

double B

how long since i last...update my own blog.. haahahha!! almost a month??? =) yah, got ntg to write..beside, im lazy recently... lazy to think of a topic to write..=)

nt really lazy bt kinda busy?? busy with 1 drama and 2 sitcom plus MULTIPLE of variety show... =) have u guys watched PARADISE RANCH/FARM/MEADOW, staring SHIM CHANGMIN and LEE YEON HEE ??? the drama really worth the time.. =) make sure u guys catch it..beside, changmin is soooo freaking hot, u wouldnt like to miss it~ =)

the sitcom i am catching now..will be from 2 fav idol grp of mine.. =)
uri evil,tough,mean,employer minded leader of beast, YOON DOOJOON is in ALL MY LOVE with 2AM JOKWON and BROWN EYED GIRLS GA IN... i think u guys knew bout it..it starts so long ago.. and yes, i been mentioning it quite number of times....the sitcom they in is ALL MY LOVE.. funny to the max!!! and hey, their acting is thousand time better than taecyeon's in dream high~ == wait, actually doojoon, changmin and another actor i bound to mention later on has better acting skill than taecyeon.. (dont get me wrong by saying i never watch taec or i hate him because i lovee 2pm and i do watch taec acting..)

the other sitcom will be...REAL SCHOOL!!! =) staring by our evil,sarcasm maknae of u-kiss, DONGHO!!! and also ELI and KISEOP.. =) check out their funny acting involving a grp of students.. =) DONGHO is really good in acting~ so check him out and show him lots of lovee~ =)

u can watch ATHENA?? CHANGMIN'S CAMEO as bomb nuclear specialist director.. and also SIWON!!! =) dont miss out the hot guys in athena..
or u can watch MY PRINCESS??? KIKWANG is in the movie and his cute side will make u go crazy!! =)
or maybe PRESIDENT... SUNGMIN is having the troublemaker role... it would be fun to catch him there...

so yeah, u can see, i am actually kinda...busy~ with yunjae (separate actually) drama coming up next... i am going to be very busy till end of this year.. nt to mention, there is a lot of comeback recently.. like BIGBANG, CN BLUE and BEAST japanese debut.. =)

oh...double B.. any of u guys knew why i wrote double B??? =)
is because recently i am addicted to this 2 grp... and their name start with B... yes, is BIGBANG and BEAST!!!! =) i make a playlist (name DOUBLE B) and put their songs in.....it contain tooooo much of love~ =)

watch them!! =)